Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Hold onto the bar and don't get off until the ride comes to a complete stop.

A co-worker died in the early morning hours Tuesday. It wasn't a surprise exactly but it is still a shock to the system and I've been thinking about him and our relationship a lot these past few days. We learned on Monday that he wouldn't survive surgery and without surgery he wouldn't survive.

The fact that he is gone is weird and it will be quite a while before I can really grasp it. Jim was sick the entire time we knew him. He worked for our company for 7 years. His heart was bad. He was in his 40's but his heart was 80 and not a healthy 80. I'm not sure what condition or disease caused that - it was what it was. He survived at least two serious hospitalizations in those 7 years and always came back. This time the infection was too much for his body to fight anymore. I am still reeling some from this.

This post isn't about Jim's illness or my dealing with his death, though It's about what I learned from knowing him. You see, Jim and I clashed often over work. Quite frankly, to my way of thinking, he was just short of useless in our workplace.

And what I learned from knowing Jim is that no one should be defined by any single aspect of their life.

Jim was a good husband and father. He adored his girls (one just graduated from college another a freshman) and his wife. He loved the Beatles. He loved photography and was quite good at it. If he asked you a question about your day or your family or something you did; he was genuinely interested. He wasn't just making conversation. He had a sarcastic side that - once you got used to it- was pretty funny.

He was a terrible co-worker and frustrated me endlessly in that arena but he was a really great person. He will be missed.

And here's something to think about  .... 4 hours after we heard of Jim's death we learned that a former co-worker with whom we have all remained close had a baby. Coincidence? Maybe - but the baby (healthy and fine) was born two months early. Can anyone say emotional roller coaster?

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