Resolutions

My friend, Jamie, posted about resolutions today. She posted that she likes resolutions and cited a backlash by others about them (resolutions in general, not hers specifically). That prompted some thoughts of my own on the subject.

I am not against resolutions. I am against the forced nature of them at this time of year. [Just like I am against the forced nature of gift giving at various holidays and birthdays. That is a post for another day however.] Back to resolutions. I am against the forced nature of them at this time of year. People make them because everyone is doing it; it feels expected of them. Resolutions made in this fashion are - for the most part - doomed to failure.

That is not to say that some folks succeed in these annual promises. In general though these promises are made not for the maker herself but for the benefit of those who are listening (or expecting) one to be made. One important factor in the success of a resolution is owning it.

Furthermore, when one slips in accomplishing the stated goal one tends to give up and wait for the next New Years because that is the proper time to be making resolutions. Meanwhile a good chunk of time (and your life) passes you by while you wait. And, assuming you remember the next Jan 1st, you start the process all over again the next year - likely including the slipping.

Here's how I look at resolutions or goal setting - If you see something about yourself that you want to change or a goal that you want to set do it. If it happens to be the new year fine but if it happens to be another date don't wait. And if you struggle with the resolution - First, give yourself a break. Sometimes it takes several tries to get things going. Second, evaluate the goal. Is it really what you want? Should you chunk it into smaller pieces? Should you reset the bar? And then, if you've decided it's worth going after try again right away. There's no magic to Jan 1st or Mondays or any other starting point.

Let me add that accountability can be a help. So making a resolution along with a group - and therefore choosing the start date decided upon by others - is not necessarily a bad thing.